2009: The Year of Restoration

Happy New Year! 

Couple quick facts...

One, I am completely weirded out by the fact that it is 2009. I don't know how I feel about the idea of being able to remember my life throughout an entire decade (1990 is just a 4 year old blur)

Two, I am also weirded out that I have been out of high school for five years.

Three, spell check is telling me that weirded is not a word.

Four, well there really is no four.

Anyways, on to what I wanna talk about. The book of Joel.

Yes, it is real. It is in the Old Testament smack dab in the middle between often discussed books Hosea and Amos (please not the blatant sarcasm).

Today my pastor spoke Joel 2:12-17. Joel is a book warning Judah what was about to come. You see, they were being infested by locusts. These locusts had slowly infiltrated every single part of their lives. There were no where to run from the locusts.  In Joel 1:6, these locusts were described as having "teeth of a lion, the fangs of a lioness."

Gew. Not something I am looking to mess around with.

So, upon setting the passage up a little bit let me give you the best reader's digest version I can give you without the copious notes I took this morning (sore subject).

Essentially this is a call to a genuine repentance of sin. With a couple key differences.

First off, in v. 13 it asks us to "rend your heart and not your garment. Return to the Lord your God for he is gracious and compassionate.' Rending of the clothes was a popular occurrence of the day. People would visible rip off their clothes in a public setting as a symbol deep remorse and repentance. I don't know if God was sick of people making sins or just felt the gesture had just turned into a gesture. But he wanted everyone to know he wasn't looking for a gesture he wanted people's hearts to be changed, and that was what Judah needed to do.

Second, he goes on and lists every single different type of people of the day, including imploring a bride and groom to stop their honeymoon. What made this passage jump out at me was a little fact I read in Rob Bell's Sex God. In Jewish tradition way back in the day a couple would have sex before they got to the reception. Essentially, their wedding  wasn't official in God's Eye's until they had sex. 

That is how sacred sex and marriage are too God. And in the midst of a sacred act they are implored to stop what they are doing and repent.

whoa.

So, if that wasn't enough to impact a person. (Especially when your brain automatically treats the locusts of a metaphor for sin in your life and the whole infiltrate everything and systematically destroy the life Christ wants for you sort of thing if you do not repent)

Our pastor throws out this idea (I wish for the life of me that I had the exact quote cause it's baller). How often do people crave intimacy but don't want to work for it? Now, think about it with our relationship with Christ. We want intimacy in our relationship with Christ but how often do we don't do the work He DESERVES. It isn't a matter of if, how much, or when, but Christ deserves are all in our relationship with Him. And are all is the idea of striving to be pure and blameless because He has given us that opportunity without us deserving it or have to earn it.

::exhale::

Okay, then my friend's words started echoing through my ear "You don't usually like to talk about the why nate." So, for some reason I immediately started thinking about why I don't put the work in or why I don't repent when I know there is something screwing up my life. I think I have come up with an answer, and it may not be what those who are close to me may think.

Fear. No, it is not a fear of my sins being out on the table, and it is certainly not a fear of what others will think about me. No, it is a fear of true intimacy.

It is a fear of changing, even if it is for good.

While I am not 100% happy all the time, I have a great life. So, I think I fear what my life would look like changed. I fear having true intimacy with God cause I don't know what it would look like. In a weird twisted way I like knowing what my sin is, its the ol' case of knowledge is power...but completely wrong.

But in the spirit of Joel, the rest of this entry is entering my journal. If I keep writing it I will think that writing about it on the internet is repenting...ha....yeah you read that right.

But, I have decided to treat 2009 as the year of restoration, mentally, physically, spiritually, relationally. For four years, I might have thought about everyone else but me (to a very very very bad fault), but now, it's time to focus on me and what I need to do to kick some locusts out my head.

Musical Footsteps: Part 2

Well, the word on the street is someone actually reads this thing besides myself. So, at one Miss Victoria Loy Arosen's request, I will blog...and luckily I have been inspired.

Tonight I watched the movie August Rush and the idea of musical footsteps took on a whole different meaning. The young boy heard music wherever he went at one point he said he believes in music like people believe in fairy tales. This music came from everything, and he hoped the music he heard would lead him to his long lost parents.

I am here to tell you that this movie is closer to real life then many I have seen.

No, I am not here to tell you that I quit a rock band, sold out and moved to california, and am unaware of an illegitimate child I had with a world class cellist. 

What I am here to tell you is that if we open our ears the music will enter, and it will lead us to go...and when I say music I mean the holy spirit. Sometime we don't want to hear it, sometime we are ignorant to it's call, and sometimes we may just not be listening, but no matter what when we open our ears we can hear exactly where to go.

My second favorite quote of the movie is the part where he said "they heard the music and followed it."

That my friend is the part where movie is way better then reality. In the end, (spoiler alert) long lost lovers reunite in a musical performance by there young child in central park, everything ends happy, and I shed a few tears.

Now, I am not suggesting that by any means that by following the holy spirit our life will end in a climatic scene of happiness, in fact we are promised the opposite. But our lives will be giving the meaning so many of us look for in our jobs, our relationships, or any last bit of control we decide to keep on our lives. So my advice (completely realizing that none of you come to my blog for advice but to read what jacked up thoughts go in my head)?

Follow the music.

Musical Footsteps

First off...Happy December!

Okay, as always inspiration has hit. However this time I didn't realize it was hitting me until about a week after I first discovered it. Currently, I am completely obsessed with Taylor Swift's CD Fearless. In particular, the first single Love Story has caught my attention...and not for reasons you may think.

No, this will not be a blog about relationships.

However, this song is strikingly different then many popular songs on the radio, maybe it's because the artist actually wrote the song. This song is a clear narrative with different character's and story development. It got me thinking.

What if we had a soundtrack to our lives? What would it sound like? Would it mean every footstep had a set pitch or beat? Would there be ominous music right before I did something stupid? Most importantly...how cool would that be!

Now, I am NOT talking about anything like High School Musical with people singing and dancing everywhere. But, what if life was set to music? It would add a certain epic quality to the life were living. I mean, how many movies are famous not so much for their plot, but the music playing in the background?

And lets be serious, who doesn't want to live an epic life? I would be lying to you if I said it would not be cool to have a soundtrack to my life WHILE I am living it, and not in retrospect. Full of crescendoing moments when my heart would start to race and tempo changes when I take my life into a different direction.

Usually, this part of my blog would be dedicated to unpacking my thoughts and coming up with a moral of the story. This time however, I will digress. I frankly just think it would be cool to have musical footsteps. Heck, if it could happen I would like to think my life would go platinum...but I'd settle for gold.

Green Grass?? Check under your feet...

At the beginning of every post I discuss where my inspiration comes from. This time, the inspiration is quite embarrassing. However, in the spirit of honesty I'll explain.

After spending the day in downtown Chicago (more on that in a minute), I curled up under a blanket hoping to find a good movie on TV...and oh billy...did I find one. Now, I must preface my next statement with this...I am a sucker for AWFUL AWFUL movies...movies that are soo bad it's funny.

Thus, I will let you in on a little secret.

Bring it on 3: All or Nothing is a PHENOMENAL movie. In fact, the first 3 Bring it On movies are great...the fourth one struggled...but we'll forgive them.

Now that I got that out, let me explain why I am writing now. There is a scene in the movie where two characters go on the rooftop of building and over look Crenshaw Heights, California, the less wealthy side of Los Angeles. One of the character says, 

"Yeah, sometimes you need to step out of something to see how beautiful it is."

This got me thinking of the more familiar saying "The grass is always greener on the other side." The question I pose is this...Is it possible to already be on the other side?

Think about it. How often do people long for something they supposedly don't have when they could possibly standing right on top of it.

Example.

When I looked for a college, my first rule was this. It must not be in Illinois. Growing up in Illinois, I wanted to experience something different. At that point in my life I had lived in the same house for 13 years and wanted a change pace. Secretly thinking that there could be something better then the "motonous" existence I was living then.

So, I went to the middle of nowhere Indiana, and loved every minute of it. However, I quickly realized that a change of pace is nice. There is only one green patch of grass for me.

The city of Chicago.

Today was the official kick off to the holiday season with a Christmas lights parade, fireworks, and a free concert featuring Jason Mraz, Jon Mclaughlin, and the Cheetah Girls...yes the Cheetah Girls themselves.

I know, hold your lip-synch loving excitement.

The city in itself is awesome, but the excitement people had as all the Christmas lights were turned on was amazing, and it didn't hurt that I had great friends there too. However, I needed to step out of it for four years to come back and truly appreciate how great our city is. 

Okay, I know you may be thinking this. "Nate, the whole point of the grass is always greener on the other side saying is for people who don't appreciate what they have."

Yeah, I get that, but how often do people say that and MEAN IT! Think about it! Too often we use that expression as it is not intended. So to that I say one thing...as my title says...if your looking for Green Grass...check under your feet.

Love lessons from 6 of my favorite Friends

Before I begin this post, I must say one thing. Last night I did something that I have never done previously...I resisted the urge to post. Yes, at 2:30 in the morning inspiration struck and I ignored enough to get some sleep. Granted it took me about an hour...but I still fell asleep. 

Anyways, to what I wanna to talk about.

Chandler, Joey, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross graced TV sets across America for 10 glorious years on the TV Show Friends. Now, I must admit I have an addiction to the show and I am not afraid to say it. During season 1, in the relational tension that was Rachel and Ross, Rachel said something that struck me quite funny...loosely quoted it went something like this.

"Do you think it's possible to meet someone that you can hangout with and have fun, and love and trust them while at the same time they can make your toes just curl..."

Well...

That my friend is question facing many 20 somethings today. Yes, I'm officially a 20 something, admitting it is the first step. When you ask guys and girls what they are looking for in a relationship you have guys describing attributes that will cause toe curling, and girls describing attributes that will lead to fun loving guys to hangout with.

So, the question is, should we try to have both?

I mean, it would be easy for me to find a girl that I am physically attracted to and just go after her. In the same sense, there are a lot of girls I love hanging out with but are missing that chemistry with.

In a different episode, Ross makes this claim in the episode entitled "The one with the blackout", again loosely quoted

"Passion is great, but the thing with passion is that it eventually burns out. Hopefully after that your left with trust, companionship, and honesty,"

Ross makes an excellent point, however, I would contend that the idea of passion burning out is another way of justifying a disturbing trend in our culture.

Settling.

If I had to have a top five list of things I am afraid of, settling would definitely be on that list. No one wants to wake up one day and look at the person sleeping next to them and wonder if they could have done better.  

The one thing I have learned is that it is possible, no I did not learn this lesson from watching every episode of friends. I know its not reality, and praise the Lord that that's not my life everyday. However, I have seen couples that have both. I know it is possible. So, the lesson learned, is this.

Yes, it is possible to meet someone that you love, have fun with, enjoy hanging out with, and more importantly, that same person will one day make my toes curl.

Mexican Train: The New Game of Life?

Okay, I love games. Card games, board games, large group games, any type of games. Love em. Mexican Train, is very high on my list. For those of you who have never heard of it, let me explain. 

It is a domino game played with tiles ranging from double zero to double twelve. Each person has their own train that they can play on as well as a community train. With a couple of exceptions, if another player plays a double they must play another domino "covering it." Also, if you can not play at all, you draw another domino, if you still can't play then your train becomes "open," allowing other players to play on your train. The game ends up being a hybrid of luck and strategy, with the whole goal to get rid of all your dominoes.

While I was playing tonight, with some amazing people I might add, I was struck by the similarities of game play and life. Never one to shy away from a good metaphor, I will attempt to explain my thoughts. Funny how I think clearest in the wee hours of the morning?

Anyways, each game begins with players drawing up a predetermined amount of tiles. PLayers then try to figure out the best order in which to lay their train. This leads me to my first comparison. How often are we dealt a hand in life and try to figure it out? We go through and rack our brains with the quickest and most convenient solution.  Usually, this is where I would insert something cheesy about it's not about the result, it's more about the journey to get there to show that the easiest solution is not always the most beneficial.  

Well I'm not.

I would be lying to you if I said I didn't want an easy pathway. Things would be so much simpler if I was dealt a hand that made sense. If I could easily piece things together. But, I will admit, sometimes I get that path. I look at everything  and it makes sense. That is when it happens.

A double is played.

I mean, a curveball. Something unexpected that changes your course. Your perfect path to victory all of a suddenly must be rerouted in order to cover for the player to your right's shortcoming. Now in life, this could come from a person, an unexpected life happening, or even another person's decision affecting you. No matter what, your reaction is generally the same.

You are not happy.

Your perfect train becomes two separate trains you don't know what to do with. Either way we have to quickly adapt, and figure out what the best moves are to get where you need to be. 

Finally, there is one last parallel. When your dealt tiles you don't know what to deal with. You could have 12 completely disjointed tiles, or even worse, two perfect trains of 6 with nothing to do with each other. When you have those two trains you feel like you have to make a choice. When the reality of the situation is all of the dominoes will eventually be played.

However, it's in life when we get the disjointed tiles that we feel the most discouraged. We have many parts that don't lead to a clear direction. What's worse, is that all of these parts have their own strengths. 

In the game of Mexican train, this leads to drawing from the pile of dominoes no one picked. Each round picking more dominoes in a search to make sense of the hand we are dealt.

In life, this is where I find myself getting into the most trouble. My mind has been conditioned to be looking for that thing missing. The thing about this is, it causes me to neglect what is right in front of me. I have many pieces  in my hand, just because they don't make sense to me right now doesn't mean they don't have a purpose. 

I know, I know...hard to accept. But just like Mexican Train, the hands end and you start anew. A chance to receive new pieces and most importantly a chance to make the most out the hand you have been given.

Well...right now it's a new hand and I have some disjointed pieces. All I can do is wait for my next turn to come around. Then, I might get something that makes the puzzle clearer. Until then, I will just enjoy the beauty of not knowing, and enjoying the pieces I do have.

Around the New Testament in 30 Days

It's simple...thirty days has November, so I will be reading through the entire New Testament in 30 days. The reading plan is simple...take your bible and find out how many pages are in your New Testament, then take that number and divide by 30. Read those many pages a day. For me, it is 9. Day one has taken me from Matthew 1-Matthew 9:22.

I'll write more personal reflections on this throughout the month, however for people who worry about not getting much out of this and turning this into a skim-a-thon, take an additional challenge. Journal EVERDAY, on something you learned from the passage. It sounds simple, but 80% of the battle is doing it everyday and not falling behind...okay that's all for now.