Go Ahead and Judge Me...Seriously

When does a catch phrase go from being catchy to being part of a culture's vernacular? 

Quick side thought...why do you feel so smart when you use the word vernacular?

Anyways, the past four years there has been a phrase that has crept into many of my friends daily word usage and I haven't even been able to avoid it.

Don't...judge...me.

Yes, this popular retort to a friends seemingly critical interpretation of the speaker's story, action, or way of life has inspired me to write after a mini hiatus.

I say this all the time. Whether it is a defense mechanism to let people know right away that they aren't going to be able to change my behavior,whether it is a secret admission of guilt without actually admitting your guilty, or whether I say it so much it's just a natural response this phrase has several different meanings in those three little words. But, I hate to break to everyone out there reading (in my wildest dreams there's like 2 of you) this phrase needs to be tweaked a little bit.

The phrase should say "Go ahead, Judge me." Now, you may be thinking that when this phrase is uttered it is dripping with sarcasm, but in all actuality I am claiming that this sentence should be used in full truth. 

Now this thought has been stewing in my mind for a while, back in college (which was truly a long time ago) I said Don't Judge Me to my roommate senior year and he looked right back at me and said "Too late, I've already judged you, talked to God, I'm right, so how are you gonna fix it?"

Then I metaphorically rubbed my jaw to make sure it was still then from the verbal smack in the face I received, and frankly deserved. This incident was refreshed in my mind on Sunday when my Associated Pastor frankly reminded me of simply thing, God has called us to Holiness. 

The never ending pursuit of forgetting ourself and "to be made new in the attitude of your mind, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." (Eph. 4:23-24)

That may mean that sometime your friend take's a good hard look at you and says "hey your screwing up and it's hurting you," this was really hard for me to hear sometime but the fact of the matter is it keeps us from becoming stagnant and settling.

Settling, in fact, is quite possible the most dreadful word in the english language unless it used to describe a board game and has the word Catan after it.

Settling makes me think of a couple other phrases that make me want to throw up...they include

"I do what I want," what they really mean is "I'm selfish and forget anything you say,"

"I am who I am," what they really mean is "I'm stubborn and lazy,"

"That's just who they are," what they really mean is"The speaker is too scared of that person to actually give them any useful information."

Do you get how settling isn't good, and more importantly don't you see that without judgment we would be a society of settlers? Now, what if I would tell you there is a way to Judge correctly, because judging people for one's personal benefit is not what I am talking about here.

Judging and encouraging are very similar and may even be the same thing.

If you listen closely, you just heard Evangelicals across America gasp.

Now, I am an Evangelical but let's be clear the gift of encouragement or encouraging one another should not be confused with flattery. Encouragement is speaking truth into one's life whether that be to reinforce positive behavior they are already displaying or to truly look someone in the eye and point out a negative behavior in their life and be ready to help them fix it.

The second half of that sounds like what the world is calling Judgment. This is how to be judged, judge by speaking truth into someone's life and show them how to fix it and make sure they understand how crucial it is to developing themselves as a person.

If this type of judgment starts sweeping the nation like it's previously mentioned anti statement, then sign me up, I want some judgement. 

Cabin Fever

Winter rocks in december. The combination of Christmas lights, snow, and happy people just make everything look that much better.

However, it is January and I am kinda over it. The cold is colder, the snow is deeper, the christmas lights are gone, and have been replaced with a world full of people eager to fulfill their New Year's Resolutions and people to make fun of the afore mentioned group.

With the wind chill being -7 currently in Chicago, or as my mother calls it booger freezing weather, I should be content to stay inside and continue to search for jobs on the internet. But, it shouldn't surprise anyone when I say this, I am going to go crazy.

Why is it that as soon as every major news network in Chicago says don't leave your house unless it's necessary I want to go on a drive just for the sake of driving. What is it about someone telling you what you shouldn't do or about how you should do something makes you want to do the exact opposite?

Currently, living at home as almost drove me nuts. I hate when people tell me what to do(with the exception of a set work heirarchy), I don't know what it is about someone telling me what to do, how to do it or when to do it (which is probably the worst) it just makes my skin crawl. Especially things that I don't think are a necessity, like my room being messy. My room is messy so what, who cares, it doesn't affect you so I shouldn't have to clean it on your schedule. 

Whoa, sorry for the vent moment.

Anyways, with a blizzard about to hit Chicago (reportedly) I am already itching to go out...hopefully the itch will go away...and soon.

Again, I am going to blog for the sake of blogging and not try to explain some deep answer...so if you expected some answer for the reason of people rebelling...I can't give you one...sorry bout ya.

2009: The Year of Restoration

Happy New Year! 

Couple quick facts...

One, I am completely weirded out by the fact that it is 2009. I don't know how I feel about the idea of being able to remember my life throughout an entire decade (1990 is just a 4 year old blur)

Two, I am also weirded out that I have been out of high school for five years.

Three, spell check is telling me that weirded is not a word.

Four, well there really is no four.

Anyways, on to what I wanna talk about. The book of Joel.

Yes, it is real. It is in the Old Testament smack dab in the middle between often discussed books Hosea and Amos (please not the blatant sarcasm).

Today my pastor spoke Joel 2:12-17. Joel is a book warning Judah what was about to come. You see, they were being infested by locusts. These locusts had slowly infiltrated every single part of their lives. There were no where to run from the locusts.  In Joel 1:6, these locusts were described as having "teeth of a lion, the fangs of a lioness."

Gew. Not something I am looking to mess around with.

So, upon setting the passage up a little bit let me give you the best reader's digest version I can give you without the copious notes I took this morning (sore subject).

Essentially this is a call to a genuine repentance of sin. With a couple key differences.

First off, in v. 13 it asks us to "rend your heart and not your garment. Return to the Lord your God for he is gracious and compassionate.' Rending of the clothes was a popular occurrence of the day. People would visible rip off their clothes in a public setting as a symbol deep remorse and repentance. I don't know if God was sick of people making sins or just felt the gesture had just turned into a gesture. But he wanted everyone to know he wasn't looking for a gesture he wanted people's hearts to be changed, and that was what Judah needed to do.

Second, he goes on and lists every single different type of people of the day, including imploring a bride and groom to stop their honeymoon. What made this passage jump out at me was a little fact I read in Rob Bell's Sex God. In Jewish tradition way back in the day a couple would have sex before they got to the reception. Essentially, their wedding  wasn't official in God's Eye's until they had sex. 

That is how sacred sex and marriage are too God. And in the midst of a sacred act they are implored to stop what they are doing and repent.

whoa.

So, if that wasn't enough to impact a person. (Especially when your brain automatically treats the locusts of a metaphor for sin in your life and the whole infiltrate everything and systematically destroy the life Christ wants for you sort of thing if you do not repent)

Our pastor throws out this idea (I wish for the life of me that I had the exact quote cause it's baller). How often do people crave intimacy but don't want to work for it? Now, think about it with our relationship with Christ. We want intimacy in our relationship with Christ but how often do we don't do the work He DESERVES. It isn't a matter of if, how much, or when, but Christ deserves are all in our relationship with Him. And are all is the idea of striving to be pure and blameless because He has given us that opportunity without us deserving it or have to earn it.

::exhale::

Okay, then my friend's words started echoing through my ear "You don't usually like to talk about the why nate." So, for some reason I immediately started thinking about why I don't put the work in or why I don't repent when I know there is something screwing up my life. I think I have come up with an answer, and it may not be what those who are close to me may think.

Fear. No, it is not a fear of my sins being out on the table, and it is certainly not a fear of what others will think about me. No, it is a fear of true intimacy.

It is a fear of changing, even if it is for good.

While I am not 100% happy all the time, I have a great life. So, I think I fear what my life would look like changed. I fear having true intimacy with God cause I don't know what it would look like. In a weird twisted way I like knowing what my sin is, its the ol' case of knowledge is power...but completely wrong.

But in the spirit of Joel, the rest of this entry is entering my journal. If I keep writing it I will think that writing about it on the internet is repenting...ha....yeah you read that right.

But, I have decided to treat 2009 as the year of restoration, mentally, physically, spiritually, relationally. For four years, I might have thought about everyone else but me (to a very very very bad fault), but now, it's time to focus on me and what I need to do to kick some locusts out my head.