Life of an Non Profit Employee

Wheaton, IL is a place I swore I would never end up. I interned there while in college and was surrounded my people in college who grew up there and hoped to end up there. I was not one of those people.

I always had hopes for a "better or cooler" work location. A big city, or working for a company with big name recognition. Alas, God had other plans.

I currently sit at the reception desk of a Non Profit in Wheaton. I love the non profit world, it is decidely different then your typical corporation but yet balances with traditional ideas. For example I currently have a buttoned up shirt with khakis on, however I am not required to tuck it in and I have paired them with a great pair of teva sandles.

The reception desk has been a second home to me as of late. I fill in when the receptionist is out and enjoy meeting people at the desk. However, I find it odd that twice now someone has commented on the fact that a male is working at a receptionist desk. I know some NPO's are traditional but I'm not gonna lie I got kinda offended.

The other thing about working at a faith based NPO in Wheaton, IL is the emphasis on relationships, no I am not talking about the meaningful relationships one could enjoy platonically. I am referring to the fact that I am the only male in an office about 60 people under the age of 30 and single.

Yes, I am token.

Now, don't get me wrong I am not suggesting that this indictive to all NPO's but the fact of the matter is I can only respond to the culture I am placed in. Several times the question "when are you gonna get married?" has come up and many times I threw up in my mouth.

Again, dont get me wrong I am not against marriage, I actually look forward to it greatly, I am however against the idea of trying to get me paired off for the sake of getting me paired off.

I will go out on a limb and say it takes a special person to work at an NPO. Your salary is dependent on the generosity of others and a group of 8-10 strangers you don't know. You work for a cause and not for the "all mighty" dollar. The list could go on and on.

So what. Why I have I spent the past 9 paragraphs rambling about? Good question. I don't really know. I just felt the need to ramble and had some time to kill.

That is all.

Whoa is me.

Well, its time for a dose of hypocritical humble pie. 

You see, whenever my high school students complain about anything that I deem as unnecessary I will respond with a sarcasm laced "Whoa is me." Well, its time for me to blog, and all I have on my mine is a healthy dose of whining. Now, let me clarify, I find any complaining on technology based social websites (blogs, facebook, twitter, myspace, etc.) a desperate cry for attention and in general unnecessary.

Again, hypocritical humble pie.

I have had an awesome three day weekend highlighted by a personal day to reconnect with my love of hanging out at church during a typical work day (which I assure you is more entertaining than ANY show on television) and a 28ish hour trip to Sawyer, MI with some awesome guys. This is the weekend many people in America are longing for, a chance to reconnect with friends, take a day off work, and in general do what they want.

Well, yeah it was all of that.

But, (sidenote:that word is just dreadful) my weekend was all of those things and more, the and more is what's hard for me. In general, life has turned me into it's own personal stretch Armstrong doll. On top of it's typically endless string of obligations and appointments, which granted I all had the power to say no to, life has decided to attack me at what I once felt was my biggest strengths, relationships.

With several different corners pulling I am in my typical position of firmly in the center, however for the first time...ever...I don't feel like I am helping. I don't feel like I have any control, and I feel for the first time it is taking more of a toll on me personally.

Now logic (and most of all 4 people reading this blog at any given time), would say, take a step back and let it go. 

You see that is where relationships are messy. I currently act as the only real bridge between several fractured and splintered relationships, and I don't see myself being able to get out of it without losing friends. 

Gosh, I don't even know if this makes sense anymore. The fact of the matter is the calmest place for me is my work and the world calm can be considered extremely relative in that sentence. It's hard to feel as though no matter where you go you can't exhale. You can't let your guard down and just be you. It's hard enough to be completely figure out what God has created us to be, but when your surroundings leave it almost impossible to be who you think God wants you to be it just makes your head spin.

So, I apologize for any confusing thoughts in this post. I promise I am going to in the next two weeks write something deep, thought provoking, and in general what I usually like to type.

P.S. if anyone feels compelled to comment, please avoid saying that you're gonna pray unless your actually going to pray with the Power God has called us to. And if anyone even thinks about using overplayed Christian Jargon (i.e. "let go, and let God") I will probably vomit and then have to reconsider our friendship.